Monday, July 18, 2011

It's not like I haven't missed you or anything...

Dear Faithful Readers -

Firstly, I would like to apologize for my unscheduled but long mulled-over absence. The short explanation is that blogging became all-together Too Much. To post as much as seemed necessary to keep this blog viable, mostly prevented me from doing other things, most importantly, of course, the drawing of pictures.

The longer explanation is more difficult. For a while I assumed if I wrote diligently and well and consistently, my readership would increase as a matter of course, and possibly there would be someone somewhere who might consider paying me money for my labors. Unfortunately, neither of these things really came to pass and showed no signs of doing so any time in the future. I've thought a great deal about why this might be, and I assume it's mostly because my interests tend to be both obscure and diffuse. But I'm not precisely scholarly as I have very little formal education by modern standards. So, I think I might fall through some kind of crack in the blogosphere. I don't know, and at this point the question is pretty much moot.

It just became too heartbreaking to continue putting so much effort into something that gave so little in return. Not that I don't appreciate those of you who read consistently, and commented and posed hard questions, it's just that it became, as I wrote above, Too Much. I'm not a trust fund kid and I hate working for free. It became achingly clear that this wasn't leading anywhere, and I've never been interested in being any kind of hobbyist, so I just... stopped.

Life's a funny thing, isn't it? I've always been a little stupid about figuring out what I should be doing with myself. The most confusing thing being that although I write well, I'm in no way a writer. I'm a picture person. I've only ever bothered to write plays so that I might direct them. Writing something and not directing it holds exactly zero interest for me. Similarly, the thought of writing something that has no pictures attached makes no sense to me. I think everything should be illustrated. I'm with Alice, a book with no pictures or conversations is likely not for me. So, yeah. I've never worked or thought very quickly, so it's taken me a while to figure all this out. I draw pictures and tell stories, I've always known that. I'm not any kind of critic though I'm full of crackpot ideas, I don't know that they're organized enough to be called "criticism". I draw pictures and tell stories.

So, that's what I'm doing. About a week after I stopped working on this infernal blog and started posting pictures elsewhere, I got a commission of sorts. It all feels so much easier. I mean, I'm not a writer at all really, this is something I know top to bottom: I am not a writer. I draw pictures and make pictures. I like narrative. The writing part is entirely incidental.

This space will still be here, and I may write or post something now and again, but any sort of regular blogging is pretty much done.

My God, what a liberating thing to write. And again, I must emphasize: Thank you! Thank you all for reading these past couple of years.

Thank you, thank you, with all my heart.