1. Any sort of professional, public humiliation.
3. Being trapped on an airplane with spiders
4. Being buried alive with spiders (Yes. I was permanently traumatized by The Serpent and the Rainbow).
5. Dying alone in my apartment and having nobody notice until I'm an awful story in the Post on a slow news day, and Josh Tanzer is making up a funny, funny headline about my rotting corpse
6. Falling through a subway grate in the sidewalk.
7. Being molested or raped by a TSA employee
8. Being stabbed to death in my apartment by an escapee from the hospital for the criminally insane
9. Being run over by a car
10. Being pushed onto the subway tracks and being run over by a train
12. Disfiguring injuries
13. Being blinded
14. After becoming blind, being trapped with spiders and not realizing it until they crawl all over me (spiders are stealthy)
15. Being killed by inclement weather or a member of the avian community while on an airplane
16. Did I mention spiders?