Salad Days*

One or two people have asked me why I never write about food on this blog, as I am obsessed with all comestibles. My answer is usually something about how there are lots of great food blogs out there and it's a little outside of the brief I've set for myself here, etc.

Well. As I sit here on a traditionally non-blogging Saturday in a post salad bliss coma, I've decided to go with the broken-precedent set by the grilled cheese post of desperation, and write about my salad. Because it was incredibly delicious and it seemed unkind to hoard all this happiness for myself without sharing my invention of the Asparagus Blackberry Salad with the world.

Please note: I have no idea about amounts or recipe writing, so any measurements I've written are complete vague guesstimates. One might say this is in the spirit of my Albanian grandmother who, in the tradition of ethnic grandmothers everywhere, was an excellent home cook who couldn't be bothered with precise measurements either.

You will need:

Bibb lettuce
asparagus, 1/2 bunch
blackberries, 1/2 cup
chopped red onion, 1 Tbsp
lemon juice, 2 Tbsp
Olive oil, very litttle
Asiago cheese, grated 1/4 cup
salt & pepper to taste

Wash everything. If you don't have a salad spinner, you might think about investing in one, as they are awesome. Cut the asparagus up into inch long stalks. Steam it until green and tender. Chill.

Squeeze the lemons for the juice. Don't buy that disgusting presqueezed juice they sell in the store. It's such a waste. I mean, just squeeze a freaking lemon into a cup. It's not brain surgery. How wasteful and lazy have Americans gotten, anyway?

Chop the onions. As many as you would like. I really like onions, but I added too many. Hey, do any of you ever watch my favorite (okay, not really) show, Chopped? AKA Top Chef for Dummies? And there's that one judge who hates red onions with the white hot passion that people usually reserve for things like racial injustice and, say, Robin Williams. Whenever people put raw red onions in anything, he goes absolutely insane. It's hilarious.

Grate the cheese. There's really nothing to explain here. Just grate it.

Put all the ingredients into a big bowl along with a small amount of olive oil (I mean a tiny amount). Add salt and pepper to taste, and toss thoroughly.

Eat your salad.

Write navel gazing blog post about making a salad. Okay. You can skip that part.

Awesome picture of my grandmother, Mary Raship, in traditional Albanian garb.

*Hahaha! See what I did there? Get it?